When I tell them about my son’s issues
I know it is human nature to want to try and fix things but believe me I would be very rich if I had a pound for every time one of these questions was asked.
When I say he is non verbal
- Have you tried reading to him, usually followed by some preachy story about how they read to their child all the time.
No I never thought of that.. but really though, we read to him all the time, usually the same book over and over and over.
- What about nursery rhymes and things have you tried doing that with him?
Yes we have tried this with him, no it didn’t help, we even did 6 months of talk time at the children’s centre which was basically this, he hates it, he won’t join in, in fact he gets very upset by it, especially if you try and get him to do actions.
- Do you use sign language then? Why not?
Nope, basically its because he doesn’t need to learn another language, he doesn’t see the need to communicate, its not that he can’t speak its that he doesn’t understand why you need to speak, teaching him another method of communicating won’t help him understand why we need to communicate, if anything it will cause more confusion.
- What you mean he doesn’t talk at all? That must be nice my kid just rabbits on all day and night, can’t shut them up, sometimes I wish they would just be quiet.
Really? Yes people really do say this, its just insulting really, you wouldn’t want this, you have no idea what you are talking about, go away. Actually he can speak, its not very clear and usually very quiet but he can talk. He just doesn’t understand why you would need to chatter.
- He will just start talking one day, you watch it will all come at once
Well he is 6 now and I think that if this was really the case that it would have happened by now, no he won’t suddenly start talking, believe me, I have had experts tell me as such, he has daily speech therapy, its coming, its slow but its coming.
When I say that he has a limited diet
- Have you tried offering alternative things?Nope, never thought of it, come on, really? You’re asking me this, yes I have tried all sorts with him, its a sensory thing, he likes soft food, that’s a certain colour, he isn’t being a picky eater.
- Have you tried leaving him until he is hungry, if he was hungry he would eat it
No he wouldn’t, he doesn’t get hungry, he has to be told to eat, he has to be told to drink, he wouldn’t do either of these things if we didn’t tell him to. Leaving him until he gets hungry would more than likely just make him poorly.
- Just keep giving him it, he will get the message and eat it eventually
No he wouldn’t, as above really, he doesn’t get hungry so he wouldn’t give in and eat anything, if he doesn’t want it he won’t eat it.
- Just put a little bit on his plate of what you are having he might try it
We do this every night, some nights he tolerates it being on his plate other nights he screams until it is taken away, either way he never eats it.
- Does he eat XYZ?This really does my head in, more than anything else, when people start listing foods and asking whether or not he will eat them. Honestly there is no need for this.
When I say that he has poor Gross Motor Skills
- Do you take him to park and stuff
When he will leave the house (some days he refuses) then yes we take him to park and things, he generally hates it, doesn’t play and gets upset when other children try and play with him. I take him to more appropriate things such as soft play sessions for children with ASD, at those sessions he plays and enjoys himself, he is just some what delayed in the way he plays.
- Have you tried getting him a scooter or something, its really helped my son/daughter
He has had just about every scooter on the market, he has had balance bikes and bikes that you peddle, the only thing he liked was his space hopper which he used to sit on to watch telly.
- Maybe if you played with him more…
OK this might seem hard to believe but he doesn’t like playing, it is incredibly hard to engage him any sort of play, he likes to do certain things in a certain way, he will sometimes play ball but only for very short bursts of time and always on his terms.
So there it is the questions I always get asked, maybe I should just print this out as a hand out for those people.
Do you have a child with difficulties, maybe you are the one with difficulties? what questions do you get asked? Do they annoy you as much as they do me?
Leave a comment below and let me know, I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this.