Source: I Abused Children For A Living
It was parents evening the other night at K’s school and there were lots of positives
- He has gone up 2 levels in his reading after been on the same level for the whole of last year, he is finally making progress, he is trying really hard with this, both at home and at school and we are hoping he will make further progress before the end of the year.
- His spellings are consistently 8 or 9 out of 10, not 100% but consistently good, he is practising these every day with his 1:1 and we are reading and sounding them out each night. This is obviously making a difference as we can see that he is really trying, and doing well.
- He has a really good social group set up and he is really making progress in this, he has started joining in the turn taking games and has been able to use cards to give his fellow pupils compliments. Considering he wouldn’t even look at the others when it started this is amazing, one day we are hoping he will start to talk to the others, but at the moment communication cards are doing the job.
- His Maths is really good, he has even been putting his hand up when other pupils have got something wrong on the white board and correcting them. He is working at close to the right level for Maths using visual aids to help him work things out, his science is also good, he really like the practical side of it.
- He completed a year 1 (a year behind where he is) phonics/ reading test on his own and got a lot of it right, showing that his comprehension is improving.
Some other things that came out of it is just how proud his 1:1 is of him and how hard she works with him. She helps him with everything but seems to know exactly when to stop and let him learn for himself, he is happy and confident around her.
The change in him over the last couple years is outstanding, he can now read (a little), he can hold a pen correctly, he can do sums, he is making friends and playing games with other children. I have to put that down to the extra support that he has at school without which I don’t think he would have been able to stay at a mainstream school.
This support is priceless, and getting rarer, its such a shame that people have to fight like they do to get their kids the support that they need, especially when you look at a child like K, who prior to having a 1:1 couldn’t cope at all with day to day school life, had no friends, had moments at school where he was very upset and unsettled, and even hit out at other children. Now he is happy, settled and doing really well, even if he is about 12 months behind his peers in most areas, looking at his work, his attitude towards it and the excellent support that he has:
I can hope that one day he will close that gap.
When we were on holiday last week we ate out a lot.
My son doesn’t like eating out, and doesn’t like trying new things.
So we knew, right from day one, well from before we got there really that he wouldn’t eat anything, other than maybe a little bit of garlic bread when we were out for tea.
No point in ordering a kids meal, it would have just caused stress and we were not there for that.
So we gave him something before we went out, took the essential kit of iPad and headphones and off we went.
So this is my son, in restaurants, while we were away, having a lovely time, but not eating anything. Well nothing more than a little garlic bread anyway.
Where it is really hot but he is loving it, he is eating his usual cheese spread sarnies for lunch and meatballs for tea.
Some people would say we are pandering to him but we are actually trying to keep things normal so that he will eat. He is having garlic bread every night when we go out for tea, this he loves, the people outside of restaurants trying to get us in, he hates, why do they all have to be so touchy feelie? We have one rule they touch him, we don’t eat there, it freaks him out.
On another note, He is loving the pool, and other than not sleeping amazingly he is enjoying been away.
Today I did something that I have only ever done twice, I took K to a friends house and I left him there for 2 hours.
It was his friends birthday and he was having a birthday lunch and then they were going to play Minecraft for a bit.
K was excited about going and we took a present for his friend, his friends mum asked what he would like to eat, I told her what he likes and not to worry if he didn’t eat as I can feed him when he gets home if necessary.
K was happy for me to leave him, didn’t even look up or say goodbye when I left, this is kind of what I expected him to do, he very rarely says goodbye.
I have to admit I was worried about him, I was worried he would get upset if something wasn’t right, that he wouldn’t be able to tell them what he needs/wants, that something would go wrong, but his friends Mum had my number and she promised to call if anything happened.
But it didn’t he was fine, he had lots of fun and when I picked him up he was playing minecraft on the computer and was very happy. He hadn’t eaten anything so I gave him lunch when he got home, I expected that this would be the case.
I’m pleased that it went well but I can’t imagine that I will ever be as relaxed about him playing at friends as I was about his sister doing it.
The truth about the walk in the park
At the weekend I wrote about a walk in the park with my son, it sounded nice right?
Easy, he walked he ran he giggled he came out of himself.
He did do all of those things, but it was not easy.
Before we got there he had already had a couple of meltdowns because he didn’t want to leave the house, in the end I had to bribe him with chocolate and tell him that if he came out he could have something from the gift shop.
Then wouldn’t wear his wellies, it was going to be be muddy… like really muddy! So he needed the wellies on. I let him wear his trainers in the car and then when he saw the mud he allowed me to put his wellies on for him.
On the entrance to the park, there are 2 tunnels which echo as you walk through them. He shouts and whoops all the way through the tunnels at the top of his voice, I let him get on with it, he likes the sounds of the echo. I guess its more normal for a smaller child to do this than a 6yr old, and he is really loud, so it is not surprising that people were looking at us.
The the walk itself was mainly ok, he was happy for much of it, I gave him his chocolate which helped. We explored a little bit off the track and we got muddy. I had to stop him from going into the pond and from picking up muck and throwing it, but he was ok with this. A little grumpy but nothing major, I distracted him by letting him choose which way to go.
Then he wanted to go to the shop, but he wouldn’t listen to me when I was telling him which way the shop was, he wanted to go in the opposite direction. He stood, screamed and refused to walk anywhere, it took 10 minutes for him to calm down enough to be able to hear me.
It took another 5-10 minutes for him to listen and understand which way we needed to go. In the mean time there were a number of people who seemed to be enjoying the show, strangers can be so frustrating, I have learned to ignore this.
He calmed down, we got to the shop and he got his KitKat and had a look round.
The stairs up and down from the shop are steep and sloped, I had to hold him tight to stop him from falling, he didn’t like this, but we made it to the bottom without a slip or a fall.
Back at the car he took his wellies off and put on his trainers and I took him home.
Now why didn’t I write it like this the first time? I suppose like everyone I just wanted to write about the good bits, I just wanted to concentrate on a nice afternoon out. It was a nice afternoon out, we spent a whole hour out the house, which is amazing, he was happy for much of it.
A few wobbles are normal for us. This is what most days out are like, and why I very rarely take him anywhere on my own.